Longing for Wounds

O my Beloved

Where are You?

Where have You gone away from me?

You’ve sent me a messenger who I’ve learned

To love, to make Your own,

And yet I also know she brings me to You, and will,

But it is not enough for me to be given a messenger like this,

For You are still so far away I feel, even when You’re close.

If You will not kill me right now or soon, my Love,

Then wound me to prepare for me healing from Your love.

My Bridegroom Beloved, where are You where I might find You?

Stay, please, then steal me away and keep me,

Don’t abandon me like the foolish thief,

Keep me instead with You as Your possession,

Your treasure that You desire as Your own,

For You have shown me how You do so,

But still You leave me in flames, festering for more wounds,

Feeling cancerous with Your inflictions which spread all over.

Lord, my God, destroy all that I desire now, and slay all that I want,

So that only You are left over, for You cannot be slain.

Make Yourself my only desire, increase my longing by

Your piercing arrows, strike at me with Your bloodied sword,

And increase my pain so I only become Yours.

My Salvation, my only hope, my dearest Doctor,

Make me ill with Yourself, away from all sights, sounds, and other senses.

Please, my Beloved, wound me to my core,

Wound me in every place and way possible, so I bleed

And cry in pain for You!

Increase everything You are in me, but I know

You will flee, running away so I follow You,

But I beg You, do not go far away, don’t leave me in wilderness,

But lead me into the furthest reaches of the night,

So I can find You there in secret,

You, my Beloved, whom I desire to seek more and more,

To be enflamed with Your love, and to sleep in torment

So I may be more enflamed as the days and months and years pass,

So when You decide to heed my call, my painful crying for Your touch,

You will heal me with death, so I can finally come back to You,

You who lies in wait for me in Your palaces of love divine, my King,

My King who I need to be wedded to finally.

Make me Your own, wound me, kill me in the end already,

For I am and always will be impatient for You alone, or so I beg of You. 

Perspective

(Written by the wonderful Julie Ramirez!)

He has given me a new perspective

It is no longer just about the big picture

They say the devil is in the details

But maybe that is where He is too

My life as a whole must of course be for Him

But each minute, each second must be lived for Him as well

It’s not all about grand gestures or major displays of Faith

It is about the little things that may seem inconsequential

For it is these things that will tell others of His love and mercy

Every Day

(Written by the wonderful Julie Ramirez!)

Every day I feel more drawn to Him

I desperately long to be closer to Him

Being here, I feel so far from Him

I want to be where He is, surrounded by His glory

Serving him in this life is no longer enough, I don’t know how it ever was

“Blessed are those whose greatest pain is their longing for Him”

A Town with a Chilled Soul

Sometimes when my mind races,

With this one tune in the headphones,

I see those faces from the past days

And wonder what’s ahead for my own music and groans.

I don’t know if I’ll leave this city

Or go someplace warm, get my own dorm

In some college town with cafés on every street,

Antique bookstores and a lackitude in the feet of students.

I hear them say they’re tired of this kinda place,

They wanna race each other out, looks of pout

Still filling the pages outside of my books,

My castle walls without any soldiers

While school folders crowd up the battle-tops.

Mops, dishes, and food gloves filling the lazy days

In the haze of being in love with an imperfect wondergirl

Who makes every thought a breeze swirling around

My own love for my God and Lord,

Cause I don’t wanna feel bored with Him;

I wanna feel alive and joyous, even with His somewhat

Sorrowful ploys for us.

So what do I have that takes away from my passion,

What kinda fashion has made me so tired

With all the above carrying me around in love

When I’m not even fired up?

I guess I just gotta trust in Love’s will,

Hope for His rescue and for my heart to be filled!